I awoke on the stuffy summer’s morning with a jolt. At first glance, I didn’t recognise my surroundings, but then it all came flooding back to me. I was in the Cayman Islands in the western Caribbean, where I and two colleagues had been flown first class the day before. We were going to be amongst the first people to sample the new theme park that had been built – Universal’s Cayman Islands of Adventure!

We arrived at the theme park half an hour before opening time, such was the excitement in our group. I was there with two of the world’s premier theme park experts, Dr. Jeremy Kandell representing NE-USA, and Dr. Mark Boersma representing NE – Netherlands. I myself was the representative from NE-UK. Before we even entered the park gates we were met with a beautiful scene – a wondrous mix of colours not often seen outside the world of nature. Purples, pinks, reds, greens, and this was just the buildings! When this was seen alongside the hot pink flowers and the lush greenery, the result was spectacular. I really had to take my hat off to the creator of this island paradise, the mysterious “slob”.

The man’s timing was immaculate. He pulled up at exactly one minute to nine in his blacked-out Mercedes Benz, MF Doom emanating from the interior, and alighted into the courtyard of the pre-entrance plaza. I must admit, I was surprised at his appearance. The man had nothing of the “slob” about him, looking comfortably casual in his boardies, short-sleeved shirt and aviators. He greeted us with a friendly wave, and invited us on a guided tour of the park.

We entered the park either side of the main building, and were met by a very beautiful setting. Ahead of us was a courtyard with a seating area in it, beyond that an archway proclaiming that the “adventure” had begun. In the distance I could see a majestic tower with an outdoor spiral staircase, but this must wait until later, I was told. I purchased a rather beautiful clam in the Island Import and Export shop, before making my way with my colleagues to the second area, Jurassic Park. I was told that this area houses many of the park’s finest attractions, many of which I was eager to experience…

My colleagues headed straight for the first ride they came to, the dizzying Iridium Spin. I myself instead wanted to learn a little more about this section of the park, so I made a beeline for the Jurassic Park Discovery Centre. I watched a very well-made documentary on the natural history of the island, before returning to Iridium Spin to see how my colleagues were getting on. There was a handy observation terrace, so I had a perfect view as Dr. Kandell performed the old “technicolour yawn” all over Dr. Boersma’s lap. He hastened to blame it on his advancing years, although I think we all knew a weak stomach was the culprit. We allowed him to recover for a while, which gave me some time to mull over my surroundings. Many of the bright colours of the entrance area had disappeared, but what this area lacked in actual beauty, it more than made up for in rugged charm. The overgrown jungle looked as though it hid many secrets, and was complimented perfectly by rocky outcrops and rich brown architecture.

The next stop on our journey was the park’s inverted rollercoaster, Pteradon. This ground-hugging monster took us up the side of a mountain, before swooping down into a short tunnel. It then curved round and flew into half a corkscrew and then a half loop, once again diving underground. We exited the earth in a helix upwards, then passed through the half loop again, before turning right into another tunnel. A cobra roll was then taken at speed, giving us a split-second view of the awe-struck spectators on the path outside. Another upwards helix was next, this one tighter than the first, before going through a barrel roll and into yet another tunnel. This thing was in and out of the ground faster than you could say “Jack Robinson”. When we exited the tunnel this time, we seemed to be in a cage of sorts. Before I could process this thought fully, I was rocketed skywards through a vertical loop, and into the darkness once again. We then flew through a corkscrew over the queue line, and into the last tunnel before hitting the brake run at speed. A small turnaround into the station, and our ride was complete. Jeremy was once again looking peaky, so I hastened out of the exit area, and waited for the rest of them on the main path.

We were getting a little peckish by this point in the day, and “slob” suggested we returned to the colourful entrance plaza where the nicest restaurants were situated. We ordered and received our food in record time in the Backwater Bar and Grille, but “slob” insisted we weren’t to sit in the seating area there. Instead we followed him up the spiral stairs of the tall tower, and enjoyed a magnificent panoramic view of the park while we ate. This truly was heaven.

After we had ate and drunk our fill, we returned to Jurassic Park to cool off on the Jurassic Park River Adventure. This (mostly) sedate journey through the backwaters of the island gave an excellent chance to view the local wildlife and lush foliage, and what I hope were animatronics and not live dinosaurs… It wasn’t all mild cruising, there was the odd hair-raising drop and soaking by waterfalls, a welcome release from the searing tropical heat. Upon exiting the ride, we were met by the prospect of soaking the other riders with “water cannons”. My professional demeanour soon disintegrated, and I was whooping like a child at Christmas while sending jets of water into the faces of disgruntled river-goers. However, this heaven-sent situation couldn’t last, and the “slob” insisted we visited the park’s last section, the medieval inspired Lost Camelot.

Immediately it was if we had been transported back in time to the land of knights and rogues… We made for the thrill ride – Excalibur. It turned us head over heels time and time again, and I was suddenly very aware of Dr. Kandell’s proximity to me. My own stomach had been readied by the years of trampolining as a boy, and so I found the ride rather tame. After this experience, we headed towards the second rollercoaster in the park, the “Collosus”-inspired Pendragon. This ride toured the kingdom of Lost Camelot, taking it’s riders through 8 inversions in the process. Dr. Boersma and I sat in the front row, leaving a distinctly annoyed “slob” accompanying Dr. Kandell in the row behind. We climbed the 75ft high lift hill, before descending in a downward spiral and then up into a vertical loop. We climbed once more and sped through a ruin, almost taking my head off in the process, before flying downwards and circumnavigating a small lake. We entered a tunnel, and came out in a cobra roll over a seating area, before entering the earth once more. Emerging to go through a double corkscrew over two sections of the queue line before performing a turnaround on the hillside, we then made a left turn through a building, and approached my favourite part of the whole ride. It was a double barrel roll, and it made my stomach lurch in ways it never had before. One last turnaround followed, before another barrel roll for good measure, and then the gentle coast into the station. We exited the ride feeling a good deal younger than when we had entered…

We rounded off the day with a walk back to the entrance, stopping off to ride the Island Skipper Water Wheel, a big wheel to the west of the area. I had thoroughly enjoyed my day at Universal’s newest venture, and went home with new found respect for the genius of the creator, Mr “slob”. He had managed to make a fun-packed theme park in this most beautiful of settings, while still retaining the area’s natural allure. I would most definitely be returning for another helping…

- Turtle

Universal's Cayman Islands of Adventure