General Chat / Meme ANALysis

OK, so I was very bored and decided to do one of these stupid "meme" things, and I came across this Inept analysis of the british public, but I'm a reasonable man, so I actually gave it a try. My comments are in Red, in the below Quote.

You Know You're From Britain When...

You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable. From my point of view, pretty true. I am not a binge drinker, I am the occasional two pints kinda guy.

You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares. NOT TRUE. One of my freinds was fired from his job because he got caught up on the M25 (which is to be expected, frankly)

Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week. WE ARE NOT ALL DRUNKARDS! GOD DAMMIT! *hick*

You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street! No, I barely know my way around Tamworth, let alone London.

You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them. When i'm in a generous mood I'll give 'em some drugs or something addictive.

You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast. Not entirely true. We have our good days and our bad days, contrary to what it seems like it is on Ground Force

You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub. No. Jeans and a shirt-cum-t-shirt seems our normal.

You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes. No, however I do. Self-grooming is important in my book, but nowhere near extensively as british women do. Seriously, in the bathroom I have a glass with a toothbrush and a razor in it, and I have to keep it on the bloody u-bend pipe!

You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!). No, aussie accents are not funny to me at all. And most "aussie" accents as TV people portray them are grossly over-acted.

You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable. No, that's extrotionate! I pay £8 for my haircut!

You can't remember what 'customer service' means. Very true, this country's customer service is extremely poor. Especially cashiers. I was in Boots buying my girlfreind a Valentine's present, i gave the cashier my credit card and she says "Ya card's overspent." "I beg your pardon?" "You ain't got enough money on your card." Being a man of pure determination, I went down to the Abbey National to check, i had well over £8,000 on my debit card! Pure twatism. I got the thing eventually, from their online store.

After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house. True, but the curry up around here is very good (The "Balti Ring")

More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.We have had some summers where it has been really good, this is just that same-old cliche about the weather being crappy.

You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser.Yes, he does a damn good job. I normally leave him with a tenner.

You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'. I'm not a conformist, there fore i do not, yeah?

You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago. No, right by me.

You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast. A full english is fucking gorgeous if you have a slow metabolism like me. I mean, everything (or should be) is fried, huge pans of crispy streaky bacon. *drools*

You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year. Another jipe about the british weather. It is not that bad.

You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco. No, a full size one from Focus.

A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head. During the summer, I usually go down to Devon. beaches down there are great, I don't mind swimming in cold water.

You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United. Hell yes! Go Rams (Derby)!

You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich. Yes I do, they're usually something with tuna, and I can't stand that processed crap.

A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear. Another cliche. I eat my bacon sarnie out in the garden.

You've accepted queuing as a way of life. Only when playing pool and losing. Oh, you mean the other kind of queuing. Well, I suppose it is quite bad, but what about the theme parks in Yank-land? Surely they are grossly overcrowded?

You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs. No, there are some very respectible people that are from America.

You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?). No, see above.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Britain. I would hardly call these "jokes".

So, time to bring on the Bullshit-O-Meter.


http://www.rctd.ft6....hit-o-meter.bmp

A rating of 0 means not bullshit at all, a rating of Trisha means obnoxiously bullshit-y. Let's see where this scores:


http://www.rctd.ft6......meter fin.bmp


So, it is still real utter bullshit. The kind of stuff Trisha uses to wash herself in, then.

rE

I love Trisha!

Vote for Pedro.

what is meme?

You've accepted queuing as a way of life. Only when playing pool and losing. Oh, you mean the other kind of queuing. Well, I suppose it is quite bad, but what about the theme parks in Yank-land? Surely they are grossly overcrowded?

Not sure what meme is or anything, but about this...

I've actually heard that British amusement parks do have much longer lines. I've heard that at Alton Towers the lines can get to around 6 hours, and while this does seem like it might be exaggerated, in the states 2 hours is usually considered a pretty long line. That is, unless if a park is really packed. I usually don't wait more than 30 minutes at parks during the summer.

If you queue at AT for 6 hours, you're an idiot. Most I've had to wait there is 30mins. And then if that's Nemesis you can go round as many times as you want anyway (just get off, pretend you've just put you're bag in the cage, find a spare seat (spot the groups of 3), get back on).

And I would like to say that IT IS FOOTBALL. THAT IS THE SPORT. ie, THE GOVERNING BODY IS CALLED FIFA, AND THE EUROPEAN ONE IS UEFA, AND IN ENGLAND IT'S FA. SPOT AN "S" IN ANY OF THOSE ACRONYMS? IT'S AMERICAN'S WHO CALL THIS SPORT BY ITS INCORRECT NAME. Thank you.

And the French are scum.

And yes every day of the week is good for drinking - going out tonight, then out friday, monday, tuesday, friday. By out, I mean razzed - as in, for me, probably 4 or 5 pints, 2 or 3 shots, and a couple of alcopops in a club. And it's all about the kebabs post-clubbing, none of this curry crap - plays havoc with your digestive system all night, not good news, especially if you've got lucky.

In my view, anyone who is on the streets always has a way out if they want it enough. Our political system offers them plenty of outs. Most of them are just lazy - once one of my mates saved his mum from chucking away some valuable little statues, and took them to a tramp who always begged in the local train station and tried to give them to him, so that he could sell them and earn some money - the tramp told him to fuck off.

And I believe that half of Americans are either overweight or obese, because that's a fact.

1. Yes. Football is football. But we had a different version before football became popular here. Had to call it something I guess.

2. AMERICANS AND BRITS SHUT THE FUCKING PENIS UP ABOUT THE FRENCH, ASSHOLES
Especially the Conservative cunts in this country and their freedom fries...wouldn't even have your precious freedom without the French...not to mention frenching is a method of preparing potatoes, idiots...then again, if we didn't have France's help, we'd still be under British rule...and we all know how much less free you guys are over there...

I went to Alton Towers with school a few years back, and the queue for Air was 7 hours...

You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.

Ok, I admit I say Cheers all the time, but I don't say Yeah, us Yorkshiremen usually end a sentance with "Pal" or "Mate".

You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable

I pay £7.50, while my Sister and Mum pay £70. (stupid blonde highlighty things)

You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast

So true! Everytime I get up, I can tell what the weather is like by simply looking at my closed curtains. Its either Cloudy, Rainy, OR Sunny (One of those Saturday mornings where its sunny but fucking freezing)

You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United

I call it Footy, but what the hell. Man U suck, everything about them suck. Why do all girls support Man U? Oh, of course, Alan Smith plays for them. Go Leeds and Gunners.

You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast

The thought of a Full English makes me drool, but I'm happy with my Cheerio's.

Avi: Eighty-six carats.
Rosebud: Where?
Avi: London.
Rosebud: London?
Avi: London.
Gemologist: London?
Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON.

1. Yes. Football is football. But we had a different version before football became popular here. Had to call it something I guess.

2. AMERICANS AND BRITS SHUT THE FUCKING PENIS UP ABOUT THE FRENCH, ASSHOLES
Especially the Conservative cunts in this country and their freedom fries...wouldn't even have your precious freedom without the French...not to mention frenching is a method of preparing potatoes, idiots...then again, if we didn't have France's help, we'd still be under British rule...and we all know how much less free you guys are over there...

How many French people have you met Micool? Ever been to France? My judgement is based on personal experience.

I like France a lot and the majority of French people i've met have been perfectly friendly.

Well that's the point, there's people from every part of the world that I wouldn't want to have relations with but most people from every country are very pleasant. So saying all French are scum is somewhat ignorant from where I'm sitting.

Well.... it depends what part - you're ok in south of france, anywhere else they tend to really annoy me. Like, if you speak to them in French, they'll chuck a load of subjunctives back at you - like,"how dare you learn our language". That's what I've found anyway.

And if you knew me and the way I talk, I often make sweeping generalisations in order to provide comedy, but it;s quite a subtle sense of humour so I appreciate how you guys might not have received it over the internet.

Also, the time the French helped us during the Revolution was the last time they did anything. The USA bailed them out in both World Wars. So they're a bunch of nancies.

We bailed them out by being pansies and not entering the wars in the first place?

Don't get me wrong, I'm completely opposed to war. But we were the nancies sitting at home on our asses pretending the war didn't affect us, no?

We bailed them out by being pansies and not entering the wars in the first place?

Don't get me wrong, I'm completely opposed to war. But we were the nancies sitting at home on our asses pretending the war didn't affect us, no?

That's how it started. And that was really the right thing to do. Until those psycho fucking Japs* came in and bombed Pearl Harbor and 3 days later Hitler, being the completely insane dumbass he was, declared war on the US... and then we were in the war. And during the course of said war the United States forces basically saved France from speaking German. Trust me I'm a history buff. I also get my facts crossed up a lot. But I know that was the general idea.

Speaking of which, we're studying WW2 in history class right now which I'm pumped about because I actually know shit about it. I hate war but I love military history.

* = It's okay to use the term Japs if its in a historical context, really it is.

America is Fat. I personally am not, but the society does everything it can to make you that way. I swear, I can't get a healthy meal at school unless I get a God knows how old salad or some breadsicks (they're good, but are only served on fridays). It really sucked when I tried to eat good before swim meets that were on Tuesdays or Thursdays.

I hate American Culture.

aff40 pounds for a haircut is a bargain.


You multiply by three to get NZ Dollars, and which gives you $120. Mine usually cost $200 or so. But then again, I can afford to be better then everyone else.



I love being fab.

Until those psycho fucking Japs* came in and bombed Pearl Harbor and 3 days later Hitler, being the completely insane dumbass he was, declared war on the US...

...4 days later...Dec. 11...Germany & Italy declared...and the U.S.
fired the 1st shot against the Japanese...the destroyer Ward,
sank a mini-sub(recently found), early in the mornin' of the 7th...

what is meme?

Memes, technically, are the cultural / social equivalent of genes. As our genes shape our physical self, our memes shape our cultural / social self. Anything you do is shaped by memes! From your taste in music, to your language, and the way you use it, it's all shaped by memes. In fact, it could be said, and has, that people with similar taste and style are "family", of a sort.

In the internet "blog" sense, memes are stupid, but short, distractions like quizzes, lists, etc.