General Chat / When do you cut them loose?

When do you think it's appropriate to let your kids (if/when you had/have them) see graphic horror movies, or horror movie posters that depict graphic content?

I don't have any kids, but I'd let them watch an 18 rated film if they were 15, however only if I had seen it first.

I also know that whatever I'd let them watch, they'd most likely already seen/heard worse.......I know I had at that age

when you feel they are self-determined enough to not be influenced easily by media. are they asking you to let them go see a certain movie? check out the trailer first at imdb.com

0-18 Months. Definitely.

Seriously, I'd guess between 12-15. I watched weird crap pretty early on (probably even earlier than that), and I think I'm ok. Though, much of the stuff coming out now is a lot worse than what I grew up with, so now I'd probably lean toward the upper end of that spectrum. For me the worst I saw was probably the Alien series, and similar stuff that now looks pretty cheesy in comparison.

Being around 15, I saw the Ring, my first scary movie, when I was 11 or 12. My parents didn't know, but that's not my problem. The other one I saw was Grudge 2, when I was 13, and that wasn't too bad. Obviously it's up to you. I personally don't like these scary movies, but that's just personal preference.

When I know they're able to handle it

^ like he said, it's more a matter of individual capacity and sensitivities than a definite age. I am a parent, so when the kids start to hint/ask or roll out something new I try to get ahead of it - maybe floating it by my friends or internet research, but always asking the kids to educate me on what's appropriate too.

We talk about it, check it out together and talk about it more - generally, they're wiser than I could ever be.

well if they really wanted to see it I would just watch it with them I think.
it could also be a good learn for them if they wanted to see it at a to young age and have nightmares or something like that from it.

15 - 16, depending on how mature the child is. I'm sure that they've probably seen something worse by that time though. Seems like 10 year olds are getting porn or graphic violence through the internet without any problems now.

0-18 months at minimum, as it varies by child. Making a big limit that is the same for multiple children is lazy and ridiculous. I know someone who watches slasher movies with his 10 year old daughter all the time, but his 12 year old simply can not handle it, but his daughter is fine.

By the way, I'm 18 and live at home and still not allowed to watch horror films (apparently they're evil because they depict fake violence and blood and suchlike things).

On a related note, when allowed to watch porn: Never!


Kevin Enns Ist Krieg

You should be and you are continuously cutting your kids loose from the time they are born. Strange way to think about it, but that's the way it is. Moving the crib from your room to another, and then the bed... Not letting them out of your sight to letting them play alone in the yard, to letting them go to friends house... It's a ll a game of letting go. I'm 22 and my mom still insists on trying to control aspects of my life.

So really, it's a trick question. When should you cut them loose? When they're ready. Teaching your kids right from wrong must happen at all times, and media is no excuse for bad parenting. Just because your neighbor's kid is mature enough to watch Saw doesn't mean yours is, and it doesn't make you a bad parent. To be bad parent you have to let your kid watch Saw and NOT tell them it's wrong to do just about everything in that movie.

All things in moderation...

As the above posters mentioned, it depends on the child. Honestly, I think the whole movie Rating system, which is voluntary but somehow enforced under law, is overrated, as our most of our laws dealing with so called "mature things". This goes back to my legality issue with for instance alcohol. The more illegal we make something, the more likely kids are to want to seek it out. I think if you are just honest with your kids, and don't try to hide things from them, then you're going to have a better outcome. Is it not better that your kids see such things with you there as a guide?

11-12 as that is about the age I had watched these kind of things. Also that is the age when you start secondary school so it fits in fine then. When I was 11/12, someones parents wouldn't let them watch PG let alone 15/18 films. And he was ridiculed for that, my parents let me watch 18 films at that age and even watched some with me.

Just to add this to the topic, my wife teaches at a local middle school and it's actually kind of shocking to hear what kids talk about by age 12. She has 12 year old girls crying because they had sex and then their boyfriend broke up with them, she catches notes passed about weed and alcohol, and some kids are messed up to the point of suicide from how their families have treated them. Not saying your kids will be like this at all, but they will see this from kids around them.

From what little I know about you, Todd, it sounds like you are raising your kids in a great home and teaching them wrong from right. That's respectable. Keep raising them to the best of your ability and don't expose them to anything unnecessary. Age and maturity level hardly ever coincide it seems, if you know your kids well you will know how mature they are I think. This is all coming from someone who doesn't have kids!

MA these days you aren't stupid at all you're actually giving us useful insights finally.

I'm with minime on the total fucktardedness of rating systems, mainly because they are enforced by law, like if it was voluntary, and movies could voluntarily submit to getting rated, and then theatres could voluntarily decide which movies to show, with nothing being forced on anyone, that'd be sweeeeet.


Kevin Enns Ist Krieg

Thanks for all the responses. There are many different view points in here, some I agree with, and some I don't. My wife and I aren't hard liners when it comes to movie ratings. As time goes on, the ratings have evolved anyway, to the point of not being trustworthy.

I appreciate the words of support, with Ozone paying me high compliments that I appreciate very much! Thanks buddy. My wife and I aren't perfect by any means, but we do try to teach our kids and bring them up with the morals that we agree with, and try to live ourselves. My kids are young, 5 & 1, so this is why we choose to shield their eyes from graphic content, be it on screen or a poster on the wall. My belief is that parents have the duty to mold their children while they are young and impressionable. As they get older, they will be trusted to take on small responsibilities, and will be given more opportunities to use free agency and reap the rewards or punishments from their actions. MA made an excellent post..

"You should be and you are continuously cutting your kids loose from the time they are born. Strange way to think about it, but that's the way it is. Moving the crib from your room to another, and then the bed... Not letting them out of your sight to letting them play alone in the yard, to letting them go to friends house... It's a ll a game of letting go. I'm 22 and my mom still insists on trying to control aspects of my life.

So really, it's a trick question. When should you cut them loose? When they're ready. Teaching your kids right from wrong must happen at all times, and media is no excuse for bad parenting. Just because your neighbor's kid is mature enough to watch Saw doesn't mean yours is, and it doesn't make you a bad parent. To be bad parent you have to let your kid watch Saw and NOT tell them it's wrong to do just about everything in that movie."

This is all very true, however, there are things that I will never be ok letting my kids do. My wife and I will never let them watch a graphic horror movie in our house, and we will never promote such activities outside our home. In our minds, some things are simply inappropriate, no matter how old you are. Having said that, we won't always be with our kids as they grow older, and we certainly won't lock them in our house so we can control what they do and don't do. We can only hope that we have taught them (with words, and through example) what we believe to be right and wrong. Then we have to trust them to go out into the world and remember what they have learned. Of course, my wife and I were teenagers not too long ago, and we remember what it's like to feel peer pressure, to want to be viewed as a grown up, etc... We've seen and/or experienced when someone simply wants to do bad things, versus someone who strives to do good things. This isn't always a product of upbringing. I have friends who grew up in "great homes", but they have always gravitated to activity that is not inline with their upbringing or spiritual beliefs. I also have friends who grew up in shakey homes, but they are very strong and grounded in their religion, moral thinking, etc...

Thanks again for the responses, it was fun to hear all of your thoughts!

hey todd,

sounds like your doing a good job. I agree with you on the fact you need to mold them when you can and than give them some responsability.
When I was 18 I needed to leave my parents already cause I went to college. I'm now 20 and living on my own for 1,5 year. Altough I still come home almost every weekend (because I train close to my parents in the weekends).
I remember how hard it was to make the "final step". my parents always tried to grow with me. when I wanted to do something they tried to get at least informed so they knew what it was about. sometimes this iritated me cause some parents just said "yes" to theire childeren when they said they where going somewhere while my parents always wanted me to explain why i wanted to go there and what it was. But it made me think about what I did and learned me to first observer before I act. Now they are going trough the same face again with my brother who decided he likes metal music and wants to go to some concerts ... they wont go with him but they'll make sure they know with who he is and when it is and what times it is etc.
Concerning "mature content" of things they tried to use the same approach. Here in holland the lines are much lower. for example someone can buy LEGALLY weed and beer at the age of 16 and at the age of 18 he can buy everything. a few years back there where ratings for movies etc but they weren't a rule, only a guidline. now people oftend need to show theire ID by doubt, but I've seen younger people at a 18+ movie enough times. My parents always tried to know what it was about and judge for themself. when they made theire choise they asked me what I tought. first they asked me what I knew about it and asked me to explain what it was about. then they asked me why i wanted to see it and after that if I tought i could handle it. if I answered theire questions like they wanted they oftend let me go ... but if they didn't trust it or caught me on a lie I didn't had to try it a seccond time soon.
Probally it sounds pretty hard to most but I must say it learned me a lot and at least it learned me to have responsability and not to do anything stupid.

The problem with sheilding your kids from subjects, movies, and the like is that you risk not preparing them for sitations in their life. It's a great idea to keep them away from porn and gun movies when they're 10. They get to 15, is there really any harm in it? I've heard of parents allowing their children to drink alcohol in the home as long as the parents were there. There is a strong possibility that someday, your kids will drink. Do you want them to find out on their own how to do it responsibly, or would you rather teach them the ins and outs? I think (in theory, anyway) this kind of thing applies to everything else. When they go over to a friend's house and watch a scary movie, do you want their friends influencing what parts of the movie they internalize, or do you want to show them how to handle stressful events, anger coping methods, and inappropiate language? I think the stats on teaching abstinence instead of sex education shows quite well enough that not preparing your kids with knowledge can lead to bad things.

MA these days you aren't stupid at all you're actually giving us useful insights finally.

As much as I do love some constructive feedback, I find it ironic that I'm being told I'm stupid by someone who can pack that many gramatical errors into one [two] sentence[s]. I'm not stupid and never have been, although I've participated in some conversations on these boards in the past where I was not well-read enough to actually contribute anything to the debate.

I just have a huge problem with people who take themselves way too seriously, and you just so happen to be one of them. If you feel that my "stupidity" and sarcasm are too much for you, lighten the fuck up.

^i laugh.

more seriously, im fourteen.
ive been exposed to most of the stuff you guys are on about.
apart from drink.
ive chosen now never to get "pissed"
i fail to see the fun in it.
the peer pressures there, but the point is no see morals instead of popularity.
plus im diabetic which makes conciousness pretty cool if i want to stay alive.
however, the point im trying to make is,
ive had a great upbringing. ive never in my life wanted to kill anybody. or weild a weapon. maybe during games at primary school, but never to the point of giving death threats, as some students did to me and my friends (art was funny. but maybe not for someone who was a little less confident)
my parents have always cared for me, but not spoilt me.
i htink thats very important. (thanks mum and dad if youre reading haha)
i dont have the money to fix my effing bike.
everyone in school are infatuated by major consoles and online play.
i suppose the hard bit of parenting is finding boundries.
you dnt want to embarras your kid by not letting them play on Nega-kill XIII
equally, you dont want to over expose them.

anyway. most of thats probably bullcrap.
who heard that story of those 8(or so) yr olds who kidnapped a 3 year old and tortured him and left him to die on a traintrack?

I'm not even at the age to start thinking about children, but I agree that kids can handle almost anything (movie/video-game wise) once they're done developing mentally. So I'd say at 15-16 they would be fine watching any action/horror/whatever films, depending on the teen of course. If they've been very sheltered it would be a bit of a shock.