General Chat / Advice

Ok so I guess not everyone is going to 'be comfortable' with giving me advice about men as most of you aren't gay but the same thing applies if i was straight and was going after a girl so please stop to give me a little bit of advice.
Oh and if you're not going to give advice and just be a complete dick then gtfo as i'm actually wanting advice not a cheap laugh.

So a group of girls in my textiles class are trying to set me up with another guy. I said I'd go along with it becuase you never really know what could happen. Now they've told me that he is really nice and I know who he is, he does seem quite nice but now someone else has come along and said he is a complete C**T.
This someone is an ex-ex-boyfriend. Now I'm completely and utterly confused about what to do as I don't think my ex would say something like that without meaning it as we ended on good terms, we're still friends and he is in a strong relationship now. But I still don't know whether he is just trying to stop anything instead of 'protecting me', which is what he said he was doing.
This guy is very attractive and attractive guys do seem to be the type to be complete dicks.

To top this all off another problem is that for the past couple of months i've been kind of seeing another guy. This guy is currently engaged to another man (who is a complete dick) so we've only been on one proper date as I don't want to be the bad guy who is causing someone to have an affair. He is in the process of breaking up with his fiancé so he can be with me but now i'm not sure what I want. Plus he is older (28) and I guess, not the most attractive person, which I don't have a problem with, it's just nice to have a bit of eye candy everynow and then.
I know he wont ever do anything wrong whereas I'm not sure about the first guy.

So you can see my predicament. Do I stay with how things are now and go with the guy I know a lot about and who I trust 100%, but am not really sure about having a relationship with or do I go out on a limb and try the first guy who one person says is a C**T and others say would be good?

I'm just gonna say one thing, why would you want to be with someone who has 'cheated' with you. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Then again I'm not the best person to give advice at all . And Louis! if I was you it would be best to post this on fmforums.co.uk . They have a nice agony forum there and can be quite helpful.

http://www.fmforums....php?showforum=8

awww man.

as is apparant, we are not best placed for giving adviced on situations like this, but we can try our best. its hard to judge considering we live around the world and have probably never met these people.
if you trust the guy who is telling you this c**t is a c**t, then chances are the guy is a c**t.
i wouldnt take the chance with the c**t.
id carry on seeing the guy who is splitting up with his fiance, for the simple reason that hes splitting up with his fiance for you.
i wouldnt want to make some one do that in the first place, let alone go off with some guy who chances are, is a c**t.

then again, i could be completely wrong, but heres my help.
you know you can always text me if you need anything, dude.

I'm just gonna say one thing, why would you want to be with someone who has 'cheated' with you. Once a cheat, always a cheat.

He hasn't cheated with me. All we've done is have a picnic lol and chat for hours on the phone or msn. I dont really consider that cheating, and the relationship he is in is seriously fucked up, they rarely speak to each other.

And sammy, thanks. You've helped a lot made things a little bit clearer for me xx

Don't take anyone else's word about the first guy (negative or positive). You are much better off finding out firsthand if he's a decent person.

-ACE

We need to get Raven in here. He had an advice forum once and is a fan of gay porn.

tact

learn it.

To top this all off another problem is that for the past couple of months i've been kind of seeing another guy. This guy is currently engaged to another man (who is a complete dick) so we've only been on one proper date as I don't want to be the bad guy who is causing someone to have an affair. He is in the process of breaking up with his fiancé so he can be with me but now i'm not sure what I want. Plus he is older (28) and I guess, not the most attractive person, which I don't have a problem with, it's just nice to have a bit of eye candy everynow and then.
I know he wont ever do anything wrong whereas I'm not sure about the first guy.

I would stay out of that situation entirely. The dude is engaged and significantly older than you. Whether he's leaving his fiancee for you or not (which, I'm sorry, is ridiculous to me), I would not get involved. It just sounds like a situation where more harm than good could come from it. Furthermore, the guy isn't even attractive? If you think you can do better then its even more reason not to settle. If he's charming and sweet as hell though then hey, maybe you should meddle (that just what seems like to me).

Don't take anyone else's word about the first guy (negative or positive). You are much better off finding out firsthand if he's a decent person.

-ACE

Listen to this guy right here because he is speaking all kinds of truth. I can say from experience that ACE is absolutely right in saying this.

Good luck, Louis!

If he's charming and sweet as hell though then hey, maybe you should meddle (that just what seems like to me).
Listen to this guy right here because he is speaking all kinds of truth. I can say from experience that ACE is absolutely right in saying this.
Good luck, Louis!

He is charming and sweet as hell. Lol. This is why its causing me such a problem. Thanks steve

I always think it's better to meet somebody naturally, if that's the right word
So kind of what ACE said in that it's better to always find out first hand

Basically you should go into a relationship with your own opinion of the person, not anybody elses

^ agreed and now you could also go into the C**ts relationship with an open mind and knowledge knowing that he could turn out to be a C**T.
I think your in a strong position because you could prepare yourself incase his reputation does turn out to be true.

I just think the other guy is engaged for a reason and he is 28. If you two did get together thats a mass ammount of pressure for you because the age range is so big. Your still in college so you should be having fun. I just think any relationship with that gap is gonna be so demanding on the younger person.

Sorry for the late-ish bump. By this time you may be married in Vegas for all I know but hope things are going well for you.

This is terribly off topic. I just have one question. I don't swear anymore but in all the years of this forum's swearing, why have all of you chosen to censor the word "cunt"?

i was just about to say the same thing lol

i've never really seen any of you guys censor any other swear words aha

You say the engaged guy wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you... You mean like cheating on you if you two were in a long term relationship? Sure, his fiancee might be a dick, but the only person's opinion you have to go by on that one is the dude that's cheating on him.

In the same vein, who doesn't hate their ex's? Do you really think this guy would speak highly of someone that he either didn't want in his life or got dumped?

Sure, your new guy might end up being a dick, but so could anyone. You know what you're getting into with the engaged guy, and that doesn't look as good to me as it apparently does to you.

Simply because here in the uk it is the most offensive word (to me)... It's not a nice word.

AS a happily married queen (for 18 years now...which makes me really fucking old....almost 40), I say what does your gut tell you.....it's rarely wrong, and though most people don't listen to it at the time, they'll always come back to that gut feeling after the shit hits the fan and say "Oh yeah..I shoulda done THAT"......whatever your gut is telling you now...right now...I'd say go with that....and in my experience, if I didn't follow my own advice, I'd not be sitting here typing this to a "baby fag" (meant with the utmost respect), but rather I'd probably still be in WeHo, trolling the bars.