Music Forum / My songs

Well since I enjoy writing, I figure I might as well show ya'll some of the stuff I write. Most of it is normal teen stuff, but let me know what ya'll think of it.

Here's the lyrics to my latest song, Stand:

Sometimes I try
too hard
and jump the gun
as I watch
you hit the road and run.
Eyes wide open,
losing the sight of you.
I'm out of luck,
Missed my cue.
Gotta learn
to take it one step at a time.

[chorus]
It takes more than that
to knock me down,
'Cause I'm gonna
stand my ground.
I'll stand strong and ready.
Even when I feel
weak and heavy.
I'll stand tall and able
Gonna turn the tables
This is me
This is who I am,
and this is where I stand

Sometimes it's hard
to read between the lines
and you're left
with alot on your mind.
Wonderin' how
you can be so misread
because of words
you nev'r said
But I'm not
gonna let it get to my heart.

[chorus]

Sometimes I still
stumble under pressure
and I'm left
tryin' to find a cure
for all those times
I've broken your pretty smile.
Pick up the phone,
to say good-bye
It sure feels good
just to be free of all my guilt.

Bridge:
You're so worthless,
You're not worth this.
I'm sick of flirting,
Tired of flirting
And it's time to move on

[chorus]

those seem like decent lyrics, but for me personally, its hard for me to get into lyrics without hearing the music behind it you know?
they could be sung very emotional and heartfelt, or strong and driven, or soft and sad, i mean, for me, its the way the lyrics are sung that makes them really stand out to me.

are you planning to record this?
if so, i would like to hear:]

i'm interested to hear how these lyrics would be portrayed through music.

even though i'm not really a fan of these bands, they sound like they could be lyrics to one of them mainstream alternative rock bands, like nickleback or daughtry. i can just hear their raspy voices singing one of those choruses lol.

:]

Haha thanks. I'm not a good singer, but I have recorded one song that I wrote.

Summer Air

It’s June, school’s out
And I’m on vacation
Walking along the pier
Waves crashing along the beach
It doesn’t get much hotter
on a Carolina shore
And…

There’s a bright July sun
Shining down on you and me
Middle of the day
Watching the baseball game
Fireworks going off
In each other eyes
All we need to do
Is…

[chorus]
Take a breath of summer air
And feel the cool breeze
coming off of the ocean
Take a breath of summer air
And we’ll lay on our backs
Watching the clouds float on by
Take a breath of summer air

Well it’s August, and there’s
Girls wearing bikinis,
Flip flops and tank tops
Trying to get a tan
At the local pool
It just doesn’t compare
To any other season,
Now…

Summer’s fading fast,
We’ll sit on my front porch
And watch the sun set
September’s almost here, and
School’s gonna start soon
But before we go,

Take a breath of summer air
And feel the cool breeze
Coming off of the ocean
Take a breath of summer air
And we’ll lay on our backs
Watching the clouds float on by
Take a breath of summer air

Take a breath of summer air.
Take a breath of summer air.

And one of my earliest songs: The Big Night

It was our senior year,
When we skipped class
Just to say “I love you.”
I gave you my junior ring
Knowing you were the one.
We were perfect for each other
Until you broke my heart
On the big night

[chorus]
It’s when we knew the truth.
It’s when we said goodbye.
When it was all over,
We kissed under the moonlit sky.
Wishing upon a shooting star,
Not wanting the night to end,
You meant so much to me.
And now that we’re leaving,
I don’t want to let you go
As we shared the last dance
of the big night.


Your daddy led me inside
To see his daughter in her dress.
The way it sparkles in the light
Reminds me of your smile when we first met.
Looking back at the good times we shared,
When we were just freshmen,
Not knowing it would end
On the big night

[chorus]


I got lost in a sea of emotions,
And came back to find you gone.
So I headed down to Boca Raton.
Waves crashing, sand in my toes,
Knowing what I didn’t want to know


[chorus]

Edited by Dark_Horse, 22 June 2009 - 07:28 PM.

link didnt work for me:/

and i like the lyrics to those last two songs:]
are they meant to be like indie/acoustic type stuff?

and in the last song, Boca Raton?
you from south florida too dude?

I guess you could call them acoustic/indie type songs. Sorry about the link, I did it off memory. And nah, I'm from MD, but spend most of my time (or what seems to be anyway) in NC. I just liked the sound of Boca Raton, and it half-rhymed/rhymed with emotions. Btw, the link is fixed now.

Edited by Dark_Horse, 22 June 2009 - 07:29 PM.

Sorry for the double post, but it's my topic anyway, right? I'm working on a new song, it's kind of jumbled right now...but it's also the first song that I'm writing to be sung as a duet.

Girl: Coming down the stairs
dressed like Cinderella
waiting for prince charming
to come rescue me

Guy: It's every girl's dream
to put that crown on
and be the shining star
It's a fairytale picture

Both?: When you close your eyes
and find the magic inside
that dream of yours
You create the scene,

That's all I got so far.

A song is made of sound. These are just poems...

very good point liampie.

about the poems, i really dont feel them at all.
perhaps not my cup of tea.

Edited by SSSammy, 26 June 2009 - 08:51 AM.

http://www.notefligh...ddd464d162aae6f