General Chat / Nevermore...So Glad for the Madness (April Fools!)

Hello.

Guess who's back...
Back again...
Raven's back...
Tell a friend.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO original!

Anyway, I am here again to fill the void in all of your lives. Yes, it's time for a new exciting piece of literature by myself. Unfortunately, it won't be anywhere near as annoying as the last one I did.
Speaking of my last article, I will just get it out of the way and apologize for that piece of shit I wrote last week. I honestly think that was the worst thing I have ever typed evAr.

I mean, the overall theme was meant to be funny, but apparently everone must have had a huge 14" dildo up their asses that day, because no one thought it was funny. Not only was the article not funny, it had practically no content to it whatsoever and it lacked in just about every possible way.

I can really suck sometimes, and that was definitely one of those times. For my stupidity, I am sorry. I promise this one will not be anywhere near as bad as the last one. Well, now that the past is behind us, time to move forward...

Up first today is yet another H2H 2 team review...
Today's lucky Team is The Mean Green.

I sent the Nevermore Anchorwoman Ann Bowman out into the dangerous jungles of the Amazon to try and catch up with Grinch and his band of misfits to see how they prepare and train for the now in progress H2H II tournament. This is the report she sent back to me...
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Today, I report that I am lucky to be alive. Having travelled throught the Green Inferno, I was deperate to make it to civilization after finding the Mean Green's training facility. I took me 5 days to find the infamous hideout and another 2 to convince the Grinch to let me interview him and his team. He finally agreed and I got more then I expected upon entering the murky building.

The Facility is located in the heart of the Amazon rainforest. It is a small building built on a dock in the middle of a black swamp. Not the typical abode, but whatever you can affort right? As I entered, I immediately noticed Natelox rapping some random bad Ja Rule song to the crowd of vTd and ACEFanatic02. It was quite a funny site indeed. They were under the Ja Power (Ja Rule is a governmen-made robot built to destroy the universe, and whenever a song of his is sung or heard, it causes violent outbreaks of rage and anal bleeding) so they were quite the comical audience for Nate.

After this, I saw a band playing off the the right of me. It was odd because I saw themeparkmaster singing and playing guitar while A New Found Glory was playing the bass and Sanctuary was handling the drums. They sounded weird due to TPM singing like Dani Filth and NFG playing guitar like those whiny pop-punk bands. A fight ensued and Fatha' used some kind of Jedi power to stop them. They all immediately stopped and ran to their computer stations to brainstorm for their 3rd H2H park.

At that point we reached Fatha's office/room which contained a HUGE stereo system linked to his monstrous computer. Rap records were scattered all over the floor and boxes of Elio's Pizza were also prevelant. I sat down in a beanbag chair and started to conduct the interview then...

Ann Bowman- So, Mr. Grinch...
Fatha Grinch- Call me Kryptic.

AB- Ok...Kryptic. Why pick such a horrid location for your base of operations?
FG- What do you mean? This place is great! On the inside of coarse. I chose this place to keep the team focused on doing their best. If they try to escape outside, they will rightfully perish in the dark swamp.

AB- Do you conisder your team to be the best? Or do you think the Icons or any other teams have the best talent pool?
FG- I personally think we have the best pool. I am the best parkmaker there is, plus Natelox is on the team and he has won infinite spoltlights. We also have a rounded out bench and great supporting guys who get the parks done and ready to kick ass.

AB- At 1-1 already, how do you deal with losing? Does it effect the rest of the team or do you just go on and try to outdo every park you make?
FG- Well, that loss was a farce. It's not our fault random team member of the opposition sit there and keep voting for themselves over and over again. We won't lose again. I will make sure that everyone on the team votes everyday.

AB- Hmmmmm, OK. DO you all plan the parks out ahea..
FG- Ever here the new Nas CD?
AB- No.
FG- Why not?
AB- Ummm. Because he's shit.

FG- WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get the fuck out. Interview over. Have fun getting to Rio from here you stupid bitch!!!!!!!!!!
AB- FINE!!!!!!!!! The Sea Serpents are going to kick your ass anyway!

At that point I stormed out of Fatha's office furious. To my amusement, I saw Generation X, Butterfinger and DragonInferno playing hopskotch while trying to layout the next Mean Green mini. I was very amused by the site and my spirits were healed. I went back into Fatha's office and I apologized for being unprofessional. He also apologized for yelling at me and said that I am welcome back anytime.

At that point I was on my way out the front gate when themeparkmaster stopped me and said he thought I was the most beutiful girl he's ever seen and that he also loved the fact that I liked heavy music. We hit it off and I proceeded to give him a handjob in one of the corners. I gave him my number and called it a day.

When I walked out, I turned around to say by to TPM and the building was gone, and I was sinking into the water. That damn Grinch, always playin' his evil tricks!!!!!!

Until Next Week,
Ann Bowman signing out...

*PS*
Raven, edit out that part where I gave TPM a handjob, I don't want everybody knowing that.
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Wow. What an interesting "report" that was. Way to go TPM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You so lucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Thoughts

- I recently saw some movies that really bugged the hell out of me. I am a severe horror movie buff, so not much bothers me when I watch a movie. These next few movies were very "interesting" to say the least...

BULLY
Starring- Brad Renfro, Nick Stahl, Bijou Phillips, Rachel Minor
Plot- 2 out of 5 *'s
T&A- 5 out of 5 *'s
Acting- 2 out of 5 *'s
- In a nutshell, this movie was terrible. Not terrible due to the fact that the 2 female leads got naked on a constant basis. Not terrible because there is murder and blood in it. It is terrible because this is based on a true story and the way the kids got caught makes me want to kill them alone. I mean seriously, how fucking stupid can you be to go teling everyone under the sun that you murdered somebody if you don't want to get in trouble? It picks my brain...

Spirited Away
Plot- 0 out of 5 *'s
- Harakirii, maybe you can explain this one to me, because I couldn't stay awake for it. I know a lot of anime has no plot, but this was so totally out there, that I couldn't bear to watch it. It sickened me, that I payed $5 to see this. NEVER WATCH THIS UNDER ANY COSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Fuck George Bush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And fuck this war!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's such a shame that we are losing American and British soldiers for absolutely NO REASON WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This war is a joke and lives being lost because of the USA's faggot president is sickening. I hope all of the troops in the middle east get home safe and this ends soon. No more lives should be lost for capitalism.

- If there is one movie not to miss this year, it's Identity. I saw a test screening of this movie last December and man oh man, what it good. It didn't have a score yet, but it was still phenominal otherwise.

- Jello is good.


Words of Advice
If you see a dollar on the ground, pick it up. You will be a dollar richer.

Quote of the Day
"STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!!!!"
-Adam Sandler, Billy Madison

Website of the Day
http://www.tshirthell.com

CD Pick of the Day
Cradle of Filth- Damnation and a Day
- The only thing I can say about this record is this...
INFUCKINGCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you are a fan of heavy or extreme music, this is a MUST BUY. Fuck burning it off of KaZaA, BUY this cd. Cradle puts everything into this disc and it was worth the wait.

Movie of the Day
Dog Soldiers
- I knew there was some talent in the UK other than the members of this board and Chris Sawyer. This is one of the finest horror movies I have EVER seen. I think the British might grab the title of best horror from the Japanese with this title and 28 Days Later. Must see this movie, especially if you like campy werewolf movies.

Well, it's been fun and I will be back with more retardedness tomorrow for you all.

Until the next exciting episode...
I love you all,


Raven-SDI
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Such a great article...

I loved every minute of it.

And yes, you must pick up Damnation and a Day. It's fucking 1337 x2.

That whole thing with you giving TPM a handjob was pure nastyness. Other than that the article was great.

Hello.

It wasn't me, it was Ann...


Raven-SDI
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Oh, sorry, it was totally over my heard.

Raven, tell Ann I'm free on Saturday please.