General Chat / Joke of the Day #9

ok I heard this one on Danimation a while back from Disco Stu (who I also got the joke of the day Idea).So a few of you might have heard this one before:

As you may know in the Lord's prayer, that the Catholics say, it says "Give us our daily bread". Well Tyson Chicken game up to the pope and said, "I'll give you $100,00 if you change the Lord's Prayer to say give us our daily chicken." The pope responded, "No, I can not do that it is the Lord's words" So then Tyson said, "We'll give you $250,00 if you change it to give us our daily chicken." Once again the pope responded, "No, I can not do that it is the Lord's words." Then Tyson rather angry around this point said, "Ok, Will give you $500,00, thats half a million dollars, if you change the Lord's Prayer to say give us our daily chicken." So the poep came to the church the next day and said, "Good news, we got half a million dollars, but we lost our Wonderbread account."


~Dragon ~

That was proper shit.

Yep, you suck.

Stop now before you ruin comedy forever.

fine, that was the last ever joke of the day, because well you obviously think its shitan two because I don't have any jokes of the days left to put up.



~Dragon ~

It wasnt that bad of a joke, its just old, and stuff.



If you are really out of material, why not give the ever-famous FRENCH jokes a go?!



But really, surley there are some good joke sites out there that you can get material from.

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama made his way to the pearly gates.
There, he was greeted by George Washington.

"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry came up from behind. "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose.

James Madison came next, and said, "This is why I allowed the government provide for the common defense!" He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama's knees.

Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged.

As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot destination, he screamed, "This is not what I was promised!"

An angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh my gaaad....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!!!"

Osama Bin Laden died and was sent to the fiery pits of Hell. Upon arriving, the devil said that there was no room, but he would allow Osama to take someone's place and do something for eternity. So they started walking and went into this one room with this swimmer swimming laps over and over. Osama did not wish to do this so they moved on to another room, and then another, and so on and so forth until they reached a room that contained Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. Bill was chained to a wall and Monica was doing what she did best . Osama said that he could definately get used to this and that this is where he wanted to be. To that, the devil replied,"Okay, Monica, you can leave now."

HT

Wow, we've now had three idiotic jokes straight. Excellent.

I dunno if you'll get this. Probably not.


The Emperor of Potatoes was faced with a dilemma. His three daughters were fast approaching the age when they would marry, but none of them showed any interest. He decided to send them out, one after the other, into his land to find a suitor.

The first daughter was sent out, and returned a while later with a King Edward potato. The Emperor was very pleased and congratulated his daughter on a fine choice.

The second daughter also went on her journey, returning with a Prince Charles potato. The Emperor was amazed, and greeted the couple with great happiness.

Finally, the Emperor sent out his third daughter, hoping she'd bring home a partner of the same caliber as the other two. Many years passed, until one day she returned holding hands with Desmond Lynam.

The Emperor was aghast:
"You can't marry him! He's only a common-tater!"


Laugh if you want.

I get it. I even chuckled.

I dunno if you'll get this. Probably not.


The Emperor of Potatoes was faced with a dilemma. His three daughters were fast approaching the age when they would marry, but none of them showed any interest. He decided to send them out, one after the other, into his land to find a suitor.

The first daughter was sent out, and returned a while later with a King Edward potato. The Emperor was very pleased and congratulated his daughter on a fine choice.

The second daughter also went on her journey, returning with a Prince Charles potato. The Emperor was amazed, and greeted the couple with great happiness.

Finally, the Emperor sent out his third daughter, hoping she'd bring home a partner of the same caliber as the other two. Many years passed, until one day she returned holding hands with Desmond Lynam.

The Emperor was aghast:
"You can't marry him! He's only a common-tater!"


Laugh if you want.

smirk

i chuckled a little

Mantis, that falls under the category of "atrociously-funny puns."